At the banquet, there was a video that had been made with interviews from some of us. It was so encouraging to see some of friends on the video being so transparent and real with the people there about some of the things they have went through and where Christ has brought them. Then, my faced popped up on the screen. It said "Being lukewarm and striving for acceptance from the world.....Now, I know I am strong in Jesus and strive for Him!" I would've never thought last year that I would be saying that. As some of you know, I became a Christian at a very young age basically because that's what everyone else was doing. I never knew what it meant to really have a relationship with Jesus. I would go to church and everything but I would live my own life. I thought going to church was just something I was supposed to do. In high school, I started to going to my old church back home and I remember recommitting my life. I still was completely living my own life though. I never really understood what was the big deal. I just knew I was going to Heaven. I was content with that.
When I came to ETSU, I went down the wrong path my first semester and some of my second semester....parties, clubbing, etc. I figured I'm in college, I'm away from home for the first time.....I'm going to live it up. I would still go to bible studies on Mondays and go to The Well on Wednesdays, but again I would just go because my friends were going or something. I never cared about anything else.
February 2010 was when I hit rock bottom. My grandmother passed away. Then, a week later my stepfather passed away. I was so angry. I was depressed. I lost faith. I would not go anywhere. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to quit. I thought there was no point in trying so hard anymore. I didn't understand why this happened to my family. It was one obstacle after another. I thought my family would never be happy again. I stopped hanging out with friends and going to The Well and bible study. Luckily, God has placed some amazing friends in my life that were encouraging me and showing me Christ's love through their actions. They would push me to go with them.I gave in one Wednesday and went with them. That particular Wednesday was about lukewarmness. I never really understood what it meant. I knew I wasn't lukewarm, but it turns out I was the definition of lukewarm. That night I officially really recommitted my life to Jesus and decided that from now I wouldn't strive after worldly things and acceptance from people I would strive after Jesus!
I have lost some friends. I have faced trials. But, I know that God is in control. He sees the whole picture, not me. I still struggle, by no means am I perfect. But, God is teaching me daily to just trust and rely on Him and not my own ways.
So, anyway. Last night's main song was "Beautiful Things" by Gungor. If you haven't heard this song, check it out. The simple truths in it are amazing and so encouraging. I think it definitely describes each person that talked or was on the slideshow or the video last night. God is making us beautiful through Him. He is making us new. We were dust. But, He makes us into something beautiful. While I look back on my life before Christ, I realize now just how hard He was pulling at me through friends, mentors, everything. It's amazing! So, I just want to say in closing thoughts.....God can make anything new. He strives toward you. Trust in Him. He is more satisfying than anything else, I know from experience!
"All around, Hope is springing up from this old ground.
Out of chaos life is being found in You.
You make beautiful things.
You make beautiful things out of the dust.
You make beautiful things.
You make beautiful things out of us!"
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